2.5 Seconds of my life

2.5 seconds in the life of Adventure Dork:
He Tries to be serious... 0.0 Sec
...He Tries a little harder... 0.5 Sec
...Tries to hide the smile... 1.0 Sec
...He almost has it under control when... 1.5 Sec
...He remembers how silly sheep look when they have just been shaved... 2.0 Sec
...And laughs his ass off... 2.5 Sec

Oh sure, he looks like a normal guy, but give him an airline ticket and this guy can travel!!! He knows how to find his seat, and that the 6 exits on the aircraft are located "here, here, and here". Oxygen mask will drop from the ceiling in case of depressurization... ...They may drop sooner if I have a crow bar with me. Your cushion may be used as a floatation device. Also, if you can get her through the escape hatch, that fat smelly French lady sitting next to you may be used for floatation, and possibly a source of food, and fuel oil.