Please read the following important warnings before viewing this site:

In case you did not know, it is unlawful to bring
on trains departing from Shanghai Station, China
...Oh, there is also NO SMOKING


These safety instructions will help you survive and escape in case of an internet emergency:


Okay, you have now officially logged on to my incredibly silly and somewhat foolish personal webpage. Any resemblance to a real website is purely coincidental. I will not be held criminally liable for any mis-spellings or grammatical errors in this page, as my webpage publisher is not equipped with spell check.

No animals were harmed in the construction of this website
(we'll try harder next time).

This site is available in standard Microsoft U.S. English only. If you speak the "King's English" please simply read all the text with a slightly pompous, yet good spirited British accent and add a "u" to words like colour and an extra "m" to programme.

It should be noted that all of this crap you are reading is just filler and is only here to delay you as the multitude of pictures on this site download. If you are using a Cable Modem or DSL, you should be able to [page down] and see all the pictures now. If you are using a 56k dial up modem, I would go get a cup of coffee and perhaps read the newspaper and come back later.
If you are using a 28.8k or 36.6k modem, what you need to do is unplug your computer NOW and place it on the curb in front of your home on the night before the next "trash day". Make sure you do this in the dead of night as you wouldn't want any of your neighbors to know that you are still using a 386 PC with Windows 3.1 and 4 megs of RAM. Next, go to a computer store and buy a real computer. This may seem like an elaborate process, but it is still faster than downloading this page with a 28.8k modem.

If you did not laugh at least once as you read the above "filler", you are entitled to a complete refund.

Refund checks will be drafted at a small bank in Poland, they will then be
heavily taxed, lost in the mail, found, lost again, taken by pack mule across
Butt-Fungus-Egypt, spit on by a camel (who feels his job is threatened by the pack mules), eaten by a vulture, and will finally be delivered to you completely bio degraded in a pot filled with soft peat.


Feeling brave? ...Try clicking on these:
Gary's Wife Requirements/Application Form
2.5 Seconds of my life Bike Race MC .com


And now, on with the show....

Adventure Dork in South America

The tired explorer on his way to Macchu Picchu
via the 'Camino del Inca' in Peru

Adventure Dork becomes 'Tarzan Dork'
as he swings from a real vine
deep in the Amazon Jungle.

Adventure Dork the U.S. Marine

Not so long ago, Adventure Dork got his
basic adventure training in the USMC.

Sergeant Adventure Dork,
"Warrior-Philosopher, Gentleman-Prick"

"I'm so hip that I sometimes have
trouble seeing over my pelvis"

Bike Race MC

Calling the action as it happens...
One of the top announcers in Southern California!


"Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God".
-Lenny Bruce

Adventure Dork in China

Hanging out at the top of the Great Wall of China.

Took job as "Part Time Emperor of China"
to make a little extra cash

"Wherever you go, there you are".
-Buckaroo Bonsai

In his home area of San Diego County...

A few miles off the Sunrise Highway
on the way to the 'Big Lake'

In his Search & Rescue uniform
ready to seek the lost and injured.

Adventure Dork in Far East Russia...

Taking a break while building a church in Russia - Nice Bricks!

I am amused by the fact that they just carry
AK-47s around the streets of Russia like "its cool".

Reflecting in Yosemite...

There are many places to go in the world. Some of them involve a little risk.

Some people fear death, but death is inevitable.
I don't want to be the one that dies and regrets he did not enjoy life to the fullest.

If I die on some trip to some far off land, my friends will all say,
"He died while he was doing what he loved to do".

What more could I want?

Life is a gift from God that is meant to be enjoyed. I refuse to spend all of my time on this earth worrying about money, and fancy cars, and expensive women.

If I buy a nice car, it lasts for a few years and then breaks down.
If I buy an airline ticket to somewhere far away for an adventure,
the memories will last forever (and it's cheaper then a car).

"I would rather be happy than rich"



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